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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Bullies Within The Schools: My 6 year olds experience

With all of the talk lately of bullies within our school systems, I thought I had dodged a bullet so far with my children.  My oldest was never really bullied and surprisingly, my middle daughter who is mentally disabled has never been bullied either.  It could be because most people in town know not to mess with my children because I am one hot headed mama bear when it comes to my kids.  I have always told my kids that they would not receive any punishment from me for defending themselves against bullies.  If those kids are tough enough to try and hit my children, then by God they better be tough enough to take a beat down from my girls when they are being hit on.

Unfortunately, my SIX YEAR OLD DAUGHTER has not had the same experience as her sisters.  At the beginning of this year a boy had to be moved away from her desk in first grade because he was constantly picking on her and fighting with her.  The teacher moved him to the "trouble maker" corner.  Then today, I get a call from her school saying that this boy hit her and it left a small red mark on her cheek.  I told them that my husband and I would be there in just a moment.  When we arrived, they went and got my daughter from class and imagine my shock when my daughter has a black eye.  NOT a small mark on her cheek.  We. Were. PISSED!

I had to keep bite my freaking tongue because other children were around.  My daughter said that this boy was fighting with another little boy and she got hurt when he fell back.  Did the boy apologize? Hell no.  Did he say it was an accident? Hell no.  He laughed according to my daughter.  Did he get suspended? Hell no.  Did he get in any type of trouble for this? Hell. Freaking. No!

Now, the picture is a little blurry and she has had ice on her face for a bit now.  It is swollen more than what the picture is showing, and the bruising is just now starting to really show.  I know by morning it will be even worse.

Want to know something else? School photos are next week. We will be retaking those.  I am just glad my daughter doesn't have any real damage to the eye itself.  At school, she told me her head hurt but she wanted to stay at school and finish her report card tests.  Now that is courage.  She didn't care what people thought and she just wanted to finish her work.

The next time you hear about bullies at school and think your children are safe, think again.  They are starting younger and younger with schools turning the other cheek.  This Mama and Papa Bear have already decided if my daughter so much as gets one more scratch from this boy, I will be pressing charges against their parents for not doing something.  I will also go on the news sharing how the schools are not doing anything.


Blogger Book Crook Liza said...

Your poor girl! Very, very good post. My husbands family owned a private school and I worked there for about 7 years and now that we're in the US we both found jobs in the school system: my husband is a bus driver and I actually just did orientation to be a bus monitor on a special needs bus today, which included training on bullying!

When my husband first started his new bus route I rode with him for a week to help give him directions and I was shocked by some of the comments I overheard and the almost natural instincts of bullying. It's nothing new, I've seen it, I've been through it, but it still amazes me how cruel children can be.

My daughter just turned 6, but I haven't put her in school here in the US, mostly because we're moving back to Russia next year and our children don't start school until they are 7, so we don't feel the need to put her in as early as they do here - but that is one of my worst fears. Her being bullied. And it's unfortunately bound to happen at one point or another. Maybe not with black eyes, at least I hope so, but with mean comments or actions.

Hugs to your little girl! <3 And I hope her eye gets better soon!

October 20, 2011 at 5:27 PM  
Blogger Bookish Brunette said...

Oh my god. This is unacceptable! Did you call this boys parents?! There must be a school directory... I tell you what, if thus would've happen to Em or Lu...

October 20, 2011 at 5:53 PM  
Blogger Sophia said...

That is so wrong! You must give an angry phone call to the school as well as to that boy's parent(s). In no way is it okay to leave a black eye on a six year old's face!! That is so freaking unacceptable. I don't know how you held your tongue; I wouldn't have been able to. I'm so sorry for your daughter. I hope she gets better soon.

October 20, 2011 at 6:00 PM  
Blogger Nulaanne said...

I am sorry that this happend it is never fun to be bullied.

Don't forget to check the school hand book on bullying. If the school has a policy on bullying that they are not following you have grounds to stand on.

October 20, 2011 at 6:07 PM  
Blogger Lolarific said...

It happens younger and younger these days. When my oldest was in K or First grade he came home saying he was being picked on b/c of his clothes. Now we're not rich but he had/has nice clothes. We said something to the teacher and they had a sit down with the parents of the one boy he did happen to name. But for us it was a shock. They were 5/6. What did they know about clothes??

I'm sorry that this has happened to your daughter. I don't think I would have been as composed had I been in your shoes. I hope the rest of the year goes better for her!

October 20, 2011 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Book Addictions by Christina said...

That is so awful! I would be so pissed. My son had an experience of his own earlier this week. He is 10 and skinny boney, well his class was walking down the hall and anther boy in his class grabbed his arm and slammed him into the wall, the block wall! He got in the car when i picked him up and had a baggie of ice on his head. I got no phone call and no note home, and noone that walked him to the car offered an explanation. I got home and checked out his head and it had a knot the size of a gum ball on it. the next morning I talked to his teacher and she beat around the bush about it. I cannot stand school systems. And our school has a "no tolerance" policy on bulling to. Go figure. I hope your daughter feels better. That was very brave of her to finish her tests. It has to be hard being a kid in todays schools.

October 20, 2011 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger JenM said...

Clearly the boy's parents don't give a damn about their son's behavior, but you cannot allow the school to get away with not disciplining him. If they are not willing to take responsibility now, they won't do it later if something else happens, either to your child or someone else's. School was never great, but it just seems to be getting worse and worse in regards to holding kids accountable for their actions.

October 20, 2011 at 8:54 PM  
Blogger LuAnn said...

My oldest son had an awful problem with bullies when he was in grade school ... and this was years ago (he is 34 now). It continued even after countless trips to the principal's office. I finally gave the man an ultimatum ... either he put a stop to it or I would have my attorney contact him. Let me tell you! Nothing puts the fear of God into school authorities faster than thinking a lawsuit could be on the horizon. Needless to say, that was the problem suddenly solved itself!

October 21, 2011 at 12:04 AM  
Blogger https://booksthoughtsadventures.com said...

As a teacher in the public school system...I can not believe that the offender was not suspended...that is the only way...often...to get the parents attention...

Take care...

October 21, 2011 at 4:41 AM  
Blogger MMAR said...

Some type of disciplinary action should have taken place!! You do have a brave girl for staying at school!! Even with the black eye she is beautiful!! Tell her to keep her head up and continue being strong!

October 21, 2011 at 7:53 AM  
Blogger Michelle Greathouse said...


Our oldest, who is now 19 - was bullied everyday by the same girl when they were in the 5th grade. It was so bad, I contacted the sheriff's office to see if I could take a restraining order out against this other child. But due to her age, I was unable to do so. We even went so far as to move out daughter out of her class and into another - but they still had recess time together and the girl would wait until then to harass our daughter.

Finally in the 6th grade, the beginning of middle school - the resource officer sat both girls down and told this other girl that she was now old enough to face severe consequences for her actions. Luckily, this put a stop to her bothering our daughter. But it did not change the fact that the whole previous year had been spent being verbally and physically attacked. Still, I was thankful that it all stopped.

Until our son hit middle school. For 3 years he's had the same boy harassing him. Like you, I told both of my kids - don't start anything and never put your hands on another child. But if someone hits you - hit them back. I did not raise my kids to be punching bags.

So our son spent the 3 years of middle school swapping licks with this big ole fella. Who I just found out was 16 in the 8th grade.

Now in high school - 9th grade, this boy is 17 and our son is 14 - and he still put his hands on my son. I went to the principle and contacted the police. That boy has been removed from school. Permanently, thank goodness.

Kids can be some of the meanest people out there - and bullies seem to target those they feel are mild mannered or not prone to stand up for themselves. My kids are easy going and would rather get along than rock the boat. But they stand up for themselves, by george. And Mama always has their back!

You stay on this. :)


October 21, 2011 at 10:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The boy should have been suspended for fighting. It sounds like the school tolerates it since there was no action taken. Very sad.

I hope the bruising goes away in time for picture day.

October 25, 2011 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger Michelle (Red Headed Book Child) said...

AND it's National Bullying Prevention MOnth. Apparently your school did not get the memo. Man, i would be TICKED off too. It is our job as parents to be that aggressive. it is the job of the schools to protect our kids when they are there. grr..

October 28, 2011 at 6:42 PM  

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